To whichever child did the little science experiment in Daddy’s boot:
Putting your sister’s spit-upon outfit inside your father’s boot was a successful science experiment, I suppose. The mold growth was impressive for less than a week. But for future reference, clothing isn’t an appropriate test subject. Goat’s milk molds quickly. And doing that to your pregnant mother was not funny.
Love,
Momma
Dearest Blaine,
I’m not sure what to say besides “ewww”. Gross. I do not know how to scrub your boot out. I’m sorry.
Love,
Adrienne
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